Step 1: Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and grease an 8x8 inch baking pan. In a small bowl, combine the chopped dates and boiling water. Stir in the baking soda and let the mixture sit for 10 minutes to soften the dates.
Step 2: In a large mixing bowl, cream together the softened butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition, then stir in the vanilla extract.
Step 3: Gently mash the soaked date mixture with a fork (leave some chunks for texture) and stir it into the butter mixture along with 1/2 cup of coconut milk.
Step 4: Sift the flour over the wet ingredients and add the shredded coconut. Fold together using a spatula until just combined, being careful not to over-mix.
Step 5: Pour the batter into the prepared baking pan and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean.
Step 6: While the pudding is baking, prepare the sauce. Combine 1 cup coconut milk, brown sugar, butter, and salt in a small saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer and cook for 5-8 minutes until thickened and glossy.
Step 7: Once the pudding is out of the oven, poke holes all over the surface with a skewer. Pour half of the warm caramel sauce over the pudding. Let it stand for 10 minutes before serving with the remaining sauce and a scoop of ice cream.